You choice of footwear has put you in league with Bieber, Kim, Miley Cyrus and Jared Leto. Own it. You may not have written a song as epic as ‘Party In The USA’ or ruined the Joker for everyone, but you’re as iconic from the ankles down.

Slides are waterproof. Socks are not. Remember that when you are near bodies of water. The average sock can absorb up to 13 litres of water. Probably. It’s heaps anyway.

You’re wearing summer footwear with winter lining. If you’re in the sun, remember that your ankles are protected from ultraviolet rays, but your calves are not. But fret not, should you get sock-lines, just continue to wear socks and slides until winter. Problem solved.

When you’re challenged – and you WILL be challenged – you better have some responses ready. Here one: “Hey man, the slide has been around since ancient Egypt and the ancient Greeks wore socks made of matted animal hair. Get with the times!”

As fun as it is to laugh in the face of gravity, don’t tempt the cruel mistress that compels all matter to plunge towards the earth. What we’re saying is don’t dangle your feet off a chairlift in slides.